As my sister and I walked to the supermarket for lunch yesterday we were naming our favourite relationship red flags. The list ranged from liking Charles Bukowski to fear of labels, from not getting on with your friends to posting gym photos on instagram. The naming game went on until Tilly struck gold.
'Oh, oh! The biggest red flag energy is when you ask a guy what his star sign is and his response is "Oh God. You're not one of them are you?"'
Of all the possible red flags when you are first starting to date someone - and trust me there are many - my favourite might be this one.
"Oh god. You're not one of them are you?"
Its the exact sentence that no one ever wants to hear from their date's mouth. What on earth are you meant to say? Immediately you're on the back foot stumbling for the right response, unwilling to appease the opinions of someone so small minded as to pass judgement like that and yet wondering if you care that much about astrology to get into an argument about it.
Because thats the thing, I don't care that much about astrology, I'm not sure I really believe in it, and I can never remember what any of the star signs (including mine) mean, but I'm open minded enough to at least listen to someone who does really care. Can you tell I'm getting worked up?
Astrology is a slippery sort of subject matter. Its not a science, and its only arguably an art, it fits in nicely alongside tarot and palm reading and could be said to be an extension of yoga and meditation. Yet it had more internet currency than any of the above and (as Julie Beck considers in her brilliant Atlantic article) has somehow become both accessible and fashionable in a way it hasn't been since the 70's. There is evidence enough in the thousands of instagram accounts that drop daily zodiac memes. (My personal favourite is @glossy_zodiac).
See its not just me. Yes, that is 33,000 likes you can see there, and the TikTok reach is just as prevalent.
It effects people closer to home as well. Although none of us really believe in astrology, my close friendship group all seems to read their horoscopes relatively regularly. This has a genuine knock on effect on their lives.
My flatmate chose her A-Levels after reading her horoscope. Another friend took a break with her boyfriend after a particularly spicy cosmo horoscope told her she needed to 'protect her energy in the coming weeks from those who seek to harm it' (poor Tom never stood a chance).
So why is this?
Most people I've talked to about this and a lot of people on the internet seem to agree that 'it doesn’t matter if astrology is real; it matters if it’s useful.' (Julie Beck). It encourages people to be introspective. The whole weekly/daily/monthly reading doesn't have to resonate, but if a single sentence encourages the reader to think about having autonomy in their career, relationship, friendship, then in some way or another they are improving people lives and that is fucking fantastic.
So, Mr. Oh God. You're not one of them, are you? heres what I have to say:
Yes, I am one of them - not that I need to justify it to you - I'm glad that you are settled enough in yourself and in your ideas to feel so strongly about it. If you ever did want to look into astrology and horoscopes some of my favourite resources are the following....
About the zodiac:
Vogue horoscopes:
"Your Star Sign" Today:
Get a natal chart summary:
On the Heavenly Spheres:
Parkers' Astrology:
Madame Clairevoyant’s Guide to the Stars: Astrology, Our Icons, and Our Selves:
Bibliography:
Julie Beck article: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/01/the-new-age-of-astrology/550034/
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